Welcome to the Town Hall Chat

Just last June, shortly after Barack Obama had clinched the nomination, presumptive Republican Presidential nominee John McCain challenged his Democratic counterpart to a series of town hall-style debates. Originally receptive the idea, Obama’s campaign demurred as time passed and questions began to arise as to the true format of these debates. Each side blaming the other for gumming up the process and calling on the American people to note just what a ninny the other candidate is. Late last night both men took a break from campaigning to chat informally about the proposed debates’ structure. The following is what transpired…

Welcome to the Town Hall Chatroom

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Uh… hello? Is this the googles? Hello?

/furiously taps computer screen

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Barack?
YoBamaWearCombatBoots has entered the chatroom
Yes! Yes! Thank you, Dayton! I love you guys!

*/ looks around sheepishly

Oh… sorry John… I had, uh, a thing…

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Well there you go AGAIN … will your brown-nosing ever end? I thought you were running for President of the United States, not President of Dayton. Why not court some people whose votes actually count?
You are aware that Dayton is in Ohio, right?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

So? Are there troops there?
Well John, I’m glad you asked. Actually, Fairborn, Ohio, just a short drive from Dayton is home of Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, the largest and most diverse and organizationally complex base in the Air Force. Wright-Patterson has a work force numbering approximately 24,000 people, the bulk of whom are some 10,000 researchers, scientists and engineers. It’s host units are the 88th Air Base Wing, the 445th Reserve Airlift Wing and … John?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

zzzzzzzzzz
John!

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

WHAT.. THE.. HELLS!?!!? I was napping!!!
I was making a point, John. And, not to be a nag, but you were snoring quite loudly.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Elitist!
Idiot!

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Self-serving, arrogant, arugula-eating asshole!
Sycophantic, double-talking, manipulative little bitch!

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

You are SOOO the antichrist.
Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong, grandpa!

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Let’s do this, JFGay! I will eat your babies!
DarthNader has entered the chatroom

DarthNader

DarthNader

Did someone throw a rumble and forget to invite the Green Party? Listen to the market, bitches! The market dictates I cut somebody! Bring the pain!
WHAA!?!?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

What in the shit are you supposed to be?

DarthNader

DarthNader

Listen here, Corporate Teat-Sucker! The Anti-Big Business Train is coming down the tracks and I’m the conductor, bitches. Imma bout to be all up in your big business!
Is this shrubby little pissant for real?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Nader make McCain angry! Nader wouldn’t like McCain when angry!!!!
YouGotMaverickRolled has begun smashing chairs.
DarthNader has left the room.
Are you alright, John?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

(Confused) I… I think so… What happened?
You had a, um, “McCain Moment”… I think you went Hulk for a second.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

I frickin’ hate that little bastard!
Me too, John. Me too.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Hey, maybe we have more in common than we thought.
I suppose. If there’s one thing both Democrats and Republicans can agree on it’s that Ralph Nader is gayer than Bravo.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

You know, I didn’t really mean it when I said you’re the antichrist.
No big deal man. Besides, I’m not the one running for a third Bush term.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

So did I get him? Did I take out Nader?
No actually… I think you might’ve broken that ottoman though.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Oh… uh, collateral damage. Do you know where he went?
The Joint Chiefs seem to think he’s hiding out in PakChatistan. Let’s go get him.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Eh… I think I’ll pass.
Are you for real dude? I thought you said you’d follow him to the gates of hell.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

Irrelevant!
Right…

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

They’re a sovereignly-moderated chat room, Barack!
Like Iraq?

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

……..
Well I’m going after him. With or without your support, John.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

You can’t go! You simply can’t go!

/stomps foot

I’m sorry, John. But the Internets need me. The World Wide Web is not a safe place with lunatics like Ralph Nader roaming around.

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots

YoBamaWearCombatBoots has left the chatroom

YouGotMaverickRolled

YouGotMaverickRolled

But who will I debate?
Ahem…

HillzThatPayDaBillz

HillzThatPayDaBillz

Meanwhile in FoxChat…

FullOfBrit

FullOfBrit

Barack Hussein bin Hitler “The Impaler” Obama refuses to debate John McCain. Why is he such an elitist?
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